Its about 2:15 am and I’m supposed to be sleeping but I have decided to take an hour and a bit more for myself by drawing this Cyclops for my Etsy Store. Having a baby is really tiring, I really did not expect this to be this hard. They weren’t joking when they told us that moving forward sleep would be so scarce we’d count it as a commodity.
Don’t get me wrong though, I have no regrets. I love my Baby Ri to bits and I would do anything and everything for him and his mom. I guess I just did not expect to not have as much time to work anymore.
I used to be a workaholic, like working from 9am to 11pm is not a problem for me and I even welcome it. These days I’d be lucky if I’m able to draw for 3 hours. Most of our waking hours are spent taking care of our baby: playing with him, cleaning him up (he does drool a lot!) and doing all of the household chores that having a baby brings. It’s really tiring, sometimes a bit depressing specially when you think that you don’t have time for yourself anymore and I often wonder when I can go back to working full time again.
However nothing beats the high of seeing your kid wake up smiling. That’s something I get to see on a daily basis. I enjoy changing his diapers because I promised myself that I’d do that for him when I saw the nurse cleaning him up when he was in intensive care (he wasn’t breathing when he was born and had pneumonia, more on that some other time). He enjoys waking up to me and Kris around him and his laughter is infectious. He’s very talkative and I like how he loves playing rough with me and his mom. I see a lot of my wife in him but at the same time, I see a mini version of myself that I can hang out with.
I guess these are the reasons why I’m not that sad, tired or depressed. I guess the proper state would be tired but fulfilled and happy. I’ve politely declined an offer to work again on my dream job as a comic book artist, have decided to stop working with a client that I’ve been working with since 2012 and am not as active at looking for client work as I used to. I haven’t been doing a lot of personal art save for the ones that I do for our Etsy Stores and I barely get to touch my model kits and Transformers but I know that I’m happy. One day we’ll get help so that we can work a bit more for our son’s future but this season, no matter how tiring and taxing trying to work and take care of a baby is, I’ll make sure to enjoy it because one day I know he’ll grow up and I’ll cherish everything from this season.
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